


The Emperor Weakness

by Obsidiana402



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsidiana402/pseuds/Obsidiana402
Summary: After Discovery's jump into the future, Philippa and Michael will have to deal with a big task: explore Terralysium and their feelings for each other.





	1. Chapter 1

Philippa

It was over in seconds. The jump through the wormhole was a success and there she was, beaten but satisfied, facing the outcome of a job well done. Leland had vanish in a cloud of spores and the artificial intelligence known as The Control had been, apparently, defeated. 

To her utter dismay, her plan to become the leader of section 31 had been crushed, considering they were now 950 years ahead of their time, orbiting a ridiculous, pathetic, underdeveloped planet. Only Michael, with her insufferable noble heart, could make Philippa do such a stupid choice.

The floor under her feet was covered on blood, dripping mostly from a good number of minor cuts on her face and hands. Philippa’s head was throbbing, not just as a result of her physical efforts, but from her tumultuous thoughts.

She was still trying to understand her own actions in the last 24 hours, her choice to travel across time and space, the urge to protect Michael Burnham. This indescribable force attaching her to the girl was exasperating.

Philippa was confused, unable to explain why exactly she didn't hesitate, no even for a second, to join the young woman on the suicide mission of crossing a wormhole to save the universe from annihilation. The need to stop Lelland was just a pretense, the logical judgment to cover the emotional reason to stay on board the Discovery.

The emperor Philippa have always been well versed in her own needs, plainly conscious of her inner feelings and desires. 

Actually, one of her life goals was to seek her wishes at any cost. While she couldn't deny the pleasure of watching Leland's face losing its mischievous glow, as the son of a bitch crumbled in a spore's mist, the need to be assured that Michael would be fine became more important than any thirst for revenge. 

The fight have been hard. As expected, the creature efforts to persevere made its actions bolder, almost desperate. Philippa's muscles were aching, one or two ribs were probably broken and the amount of blood dripping from her forehead and nose were a good indicator she should visit sickbay.

Discovery's crew had been in high alert on the last 72 hours, so the lack of sleep was her biggest adversary. Her pace was slower than normal, as she walked through the empty corridors, stopping a couple of times to rest against a wall. The ship was almost desert, therefore the few crew members who volunteered to the mision were probably on the bridge or under medical care. 

A message from Saru on open channel reported Michael's status. Burnham was back at discovery's dock, safe and sound in her time suit. Philippa signed in relief, her heart fluttering fast in her chest, while her mind focused again on the other woman. For the first time in ages she was helpless, incapable to identify her own feelings. 

When they first met, just a few months ago, Philippa mistook her feelings for maternal protection, due to Michael’s remarkable resemblance with her own lost daughter. It didn’t take long for Philippa to understand how different from each other the two women were.

Her own daughter resented Philippa's power, as the empire's demands took her mother away from her. For years, Philippa tried to compensate her absence, offering to her Michael everything she asked for. Looking back, she could now see her mistake, her failure as a mother. Her daughter was spoiled and volatile, sparing no effort to get Philippa's attention. Unfortunately, Lorca saw in this the opportunity to crush Philippa's heart, taking her girl away from her. The emperor's blindness and Lorca's ambition cost the life of her only child, leaving her empty and without an heir. 

This Michael Burnham, the one raised by the vulcan Sarek, defeated the same Lorca, bravely fighting beside Philippa. She was selfless, strong minded and sensitive to the point of putting her own life at risk for the ones she love. Philippa could still feel those strong arms around her shoulders, saving her from the certain death, seconds before they made their journey through parallel universes.

No, this Michael Burnahn was not at all like her deceased daughter. Philippa's chest burned with love for both of them, but the meaning of her feelings and desires for the woman who just saved the world were still in a fog of confusion and denial. At least, she was positive sure of one thing, her feelings for this Michael were anything but maternal. 

Nobody paid any attention when she entered sickbay, the cacophony of voices increasing her headache. The medical staff was running around the biobeds, shouting commands at high speed. Their distress was comprensible. They were so few now and at least a third of the reduced crew was seeking medical attention. Lieutenant Stamets was probably the worst case, unconscious and moaning, with his chest covered in blood. 

For a brief moment, Philippa felt some sympathy for his partner, working with hands covered in his lover's blood. At least, her heart was in peace, knowing her loved one was safe.

She retrieved one of the portable medkits used to field missions, with tricorder, scanner and hypospray, resuming her slow journey to one of the many staff quarters, now available due to the lack of crew.

Philippa opened the door of an empty accommodation, covering the distance to the bed with great effort. Sitting in the pristine sheets, she fought to open the medkit, her trembling hands missing the lock twice.

A blood drop fell on the tricorder, so she stood, looking for a towel. Once in the bathroom, she also got some hot water in a bowl, carrying it back to the bed. 

The moment she sat again, a startled sound came from her own lips, as she noticed Michael Burhan standing at the door.

……

Michael

She came out of the “time suit” with a relieved sign. Michael felt disoriented, a little nauseated and a persistent whistle in her right ear was driving her mad. In spite of the effects over her body, the mission had been accomplished. 

On a brief message, Saru informed Discovery was finally orbiting planet Terralisiun and Leland had been neutralized in the spore's cub. The ship would need some repairs, but fortunately, it was not compromised. 

On the next 72 hours they would be in repair mode, accessing the damage and taking care of the injured. Considering the ferocity of the battle, casualties had been minor, but there was a general concern about Stamets condition.

As soon as Michael was out of the dock, the urge to see Philippa set place on her heart. She left her family behind, and oddly enough, Michael felt as if the woman was some kind of connection to her past life. Computer informed she was in one of the crew quarters and Michael moved fast through the corridors. 

She needed to see if Philippa's was all right, to look into those challenging eyes and feel whole again. She could rationalize her thoughts, pretending the feelings behind it were nothing but normal concern after a battle, but her Vulcan side would never let her rest, while she lied to herself. 

The truth was there, on the back of her mind, waiting to surface. Michael was again in love with Philippa's Georgeou, despite the fact the woman could often drive her crazy. Michael signed at the ridiculous concept of falling in love with two opposite versions of a same person, the first one, a woman of such nobility she could never overcome professional duty over her heart. 

On the other side, the terrain version of Philippa would chose her desires in a second, over anything, but Michael often wondered if she would be able to love. Were both “Philippas” equally intense on their passions? 

She stood outside Philippa’s door for a moment, calming her nerves. She knocked twice, but got no answer, so she used her authorization password to enter.

Michael's heart clenched in her chest at the sight of Philippa, bloody hands trembling as she tried to grab the pain hypospray. Her face was a mess of dried and fresh blood and she looked at Michael in surprise, as if the other woman was the last person she expected.

“Phillipa, what the hell…”

In two long strides Michael was kneeling in the end of the bed, her hands reaching for Philippa’s face. The older woman flinched reflexively and Michael's hand stopped mid air. 

“I don't need your pity, Michael.”

Their eyes met and Michael narrowed her eyes, annoyed with Philippa’s self assured bravado. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Michael stood, grabbing the wet towel from Philippa’s hands. In a swift movie, she sat on the bed, moving aside the medkit. She could see Philippa’s jaw clenching in stubbornness, so she softened her words. 

In a low tone, she tried again. “I'm worried Philippa's, please, let me help you."

Philippa nodded in agreement, but Michael couldn’t identify the feeling behind her eyes. She seemed suspicious, almost scared of Michael’s touch.

With great care, Michael moved Philippa’s hair from her forehead, using the towel to clean her face, with delicate touches. A large cut on her right eyebrow was responsible for good part of the blood covering her face. Michael could feel Philippa’s curious glance on her, as if the other woman was trying to solve a puzzle. 

Michael was very aware of her own actions, knowing a clever woman like Philippa would soon understand the nature of her gesture. The emperor would probably laugh if she knew about Michal feelings, but Michael couldn’t care less about it now, if that meant she could take care of Phillipa. The need to comfort the other woman was bigger than any pride Michael could have beyond unrequited feelings. 

“Who did this to you? Leland?”

Philippa snorted. "That bastard was able to adapt very fast. While we were fighting, he could avoid most of my strikes, hitting me faster than anything I ever seen.” Her face contorted in pain when Michael touched her eyebrow. “The Control's strategy is to adapt and survive, no matter the circumstances, so it makes sense it would also adjust on a fight. Lucky enough, I dissolved him in the spore cub.”

Philippa looked at Michael’s face, with obvious distress. "How was out there? There were so many enemy ships I was worried about your safety.”

With a shrug of her shoulders, Michael released a long breath. “I had to jump to the location of the signs, it was overwhelming in so many ways. I think it will take some time until my brain process the meaning behind all of it."

Michael continued with soft, circle moves, using the wet towel until she could see Philippa’s flawless skin again. Most cuts were minor, but her eyes and mouth were already swollen. “I will use the dermal regenerator for the cuts and swelling, or else your beautiful face will keep reminding you of Leland, for days. Are you feeling any diseness?”

It took Michal at least 30 seconds to realize what she said. She called her 'beautiful'. Philippa’s eyes widened, as the usual playful glint left her features. She seemed surprised, her mouth gaping. 

When her voice came out again it was a just a low murmur, between trembling lips. "Were you in love with her?”

The silent extended for a whole minute, while Michael considered how to answer. Of course she was in love with Captain Philippa Georgou, for as long as she could remember, but Michal was not sure if she was ready to defend her feelings for Philippa from the emperor's attack. Pretending not to hear the question, Michael looked at the door. 

“The cut in your eyebrow is deep, maybe we should go to sickbay…”

Philippa ignored the words, grabbing Michael’s chin, so their eyes met. “Michael?”

Michael closed her eyes and signed, old wounds opening inside her heart. Looking directly at Philippa’s eyes, she answered, in a low voice. “You seem surprised by the idea."

Resuming to the task of cleaning Philippa’s wounds, Michael tried to ignore the older woman's stare. Many emotions were crossing Philippa’s face, but Michael couldn’t discern if she was shocked, surprised or oddly, hopeful. Tilting her head to the side, Philippa murmured.

“Was she in love with you?”

Michael pondered the question, her feelings surfacing regardless her efforts to hide them. "Does it matter now? You're always reminding me she is dead, why would you care about her feelings for me, or my feelings for her, by the way? You're the one who told me there are no second chances, do you remember?"

At that, Philippa seemed offended. “I keep reminding you she’s dead not to hurt you, but because I can’t stand you comparing me to her. No matter what, I'm always on debt, beyond the perfect starfleet's Captain Philippa Georgiou, ”

Rolling her eyes exasperated, Michael retorted, her words faster than her thoughts. “Don’t presume to know my feelings for you, Philippa.”

Michael took the medkit in her lap, looking out for the dermal repair. Once she found it, she pointed it to Philippa’s eyebrow, her touch soft, despite her growing irritation. "I understand your surprise, but I must remind you that my connection with my Philippa was not at all like yours with your Michael."

Turning Philippa’s face to the side, she added. "You thoughts are based on your own universe. There, the terrain Michael Burnham was your daughter. In my universe, even though I am a foster child, I must remind you my mother is Amanda, Sarek's wife. For her, of course, I would never harbor romantic feelings."

Philippa turned again to her, looking directly into her eyes. “I thought she was some kind of mentor to you.”

"I already was a woman when I first met Philippa, we were co-workers, very good friends and even if I could have some kind of heroship for her, I never once felt anything close to the feelings a daughter would have towards a mother figure."

The next words came out of her mouth without filter, god she was tired. "On contrary, I always considered her an attractive woman, she was beautiful in so many ways…”

Philippa turned her body abruptly, maybe to face Michael, but before anything was said, her face contorted in pain once again, her hands holding her own torso. Michael couldn’t hide her concern. “What is it? Where does it hurt? I need to take you to sickbay, Philippa!"

The older woman shook one hand in the air, dismissively. “Michael, I’m a soldier, do you have any idea how many times I sustained injuries like this? Believe me, I can tell when I’m in trouble.”

Ignoring her, Michael took the tricorder, pointing it to Philippa’s chest, neck and head. “Well, you’re not concussed or have any fractures over your face... just the visible cuts.”

Rolling her eyes, Philippa removed her own gloves, frowning at her swollen knuckles. “I told you I’m fine, Michael…”

Michael nodded, pointing to the tricorder screen. “But one of your ribs has an small fracture. Even with no internal bleeding, If you don’t go to sickbay you’ll be in pain for days.”

Philippa cleaned the bloodied towel on the water bowl, before passing it over her own neck. Michael was still worried, but she didn't insist. As if hearing her thoughts, Philippa commented. 

“You want me to go to sickbay, but have you been there, already?" 

Not caring if Philippa would judge her actions, Michael gave her a honest answer. “No, I came directly to you, as soon as I was back on board.”

The older woman's smile was soft. “Things are bad there, it’s crowded and the medical staff can’t take care of all… and for what I could see, Stamets is in real trouble. Believe me, a broken rib it is not their main problem right now.”

Michael face fell at that. “Stamets was with me when an explosion hit him hard. We were taking the time suit to the dock.” 

At that, Phillipa left the towel, grabbing Michael's forearms firmly. “An explosion? Michael are you alright? Aren’t you hurt?”

Looking at the older woman's hands, Michael nodded. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me." Taking Philippa's hands on hers, she murmured. "God, even your hands are swollen. I would like to have the chance to kill Leland all over again...” 

Apparently, traveling across time as well as exhaustion were enough for Michael lose control over her mouth.

Philippa's seemed lost in a haze while her right hand left Michael's, coming up slowly, toward the young woman's face. 

"Michael…"

Michael closed her eyes, but before she could feel the blissful touch, her intercom brought her back to reality. 

Saru's voice seemed excessive loud as it echoed across the room. "Bridge to Commander Burnham, your presence is required."

As if burned by soft hands, Michael stood, looking down to a speechless Philippa. "I've got to go. You really should visit sickbay."

The other woman nodded slowly. "Maybe later."

Turning on her heels, Michael left the room, without looking back. 

….

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Michael

On her way to the bridge, Michael stopped at sickbay. As the minutes passed, she was becoming more and more aware of the unbelievable meaning of what they’ve done. 

These brave members of Discovery's crew had follow her to the unknown, no matter the consequences, leaving family, friends, lovers and dreams behind. Michael intended to cherish their friendship and loyalty, they were her family now and she would protect them with her life. 

A great deal of her desire to safeguard her friends was now directed to Philippa. Michael was still asking herself what motivated the terran emperor to show such an abnegation. 

Philippa not just followed Michael, but put her life at risk to stop the Control. Even aware of Philippa's desire to seek revenge against Leland, some corner of Michael’s heart wanted to believe her actions were moved by honest affection. 

Michael couldn’t still understand the emotions she saw in Philippa’s eyes a few moments ago. Of course pain and lack of sleep would make one's composure fail, so maybe the tender glances were nothing more than exhaustion. 

On the other hand, the moment Philippa realized Michael had feelings for Captain Georgiou, she seemed deeply affected and Michael had the weird feeling they would have kissed in Philippa's quarters, if Saru had not interrupted them.

The vulcan's stoic half of her brain was afraid to hope, but she would be damned if her human's romantic heart stopped speaking to her soul.

Once inside the sickbay, Michael could attest what Philippa described a few minutes ago. Dr. Cuber was frantically working above Stamets, while the rest of the team was working hard to attend all the injured. 

On a corner of the room was Tilly, face swollen from crying and eyes focused on her good friend. Once she saw Michael, she ran on her direction, hugging her tightly, crying even harder once Michael held her. 

After a while, Michael pushed her at arms length, looking into her eyes. “Hey, are you alright?”

Tilly nodded, cleaning her face with one sleeve. “Yes, just a bang on forehead and the mother of headaches, but I'm good. What about you?”

"Well, considering everything that could have gone wrong, I'm splendid."

Looking around, Michael signed. "I really hope Stamets recovers soon, he was with me when he was hit."

The redhead sniffed. "I know… the minutes before the jump were frantic." After a long silence, she whispered. "By the way, have you seen Philippa? She was fighting that thing, Leland… and, although Saru informed us she was well succeeded, I haven’t see her anymore, she could be hurt somewhere."

Michael patted Tilly's forearm to comfort her friend. "Don’t worry, I just came from her room. Philippa is on one of the crew quarters and she's not having the best of her days, but she’ll live. I’m sure you’ll see her later."

One of the doctors urged Tilly back to her biobed and Michael followed her, helping her to settle. "I will leave you to rest now, but just for your to know, Philippa dissolved our friend Leland on the spore's cub…"

Tilly's eyes widened in amazement. "That was a good idea…. I hope…" 

Michael tilted her head to the side, watching Tilly's pensive features. “You don't think the control could come back from the spore’s dimension, do you?”

“I don’t know… I hope we can talk to Stamets about it…” Tilly eyes became watered again… “Oh my God, Michael… he is really hurt.”

Holding Tilly's hand, she nodded. "I know, but he'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

Tilly smile was sad. "Oddly enough, I was worried about Philippa, even if she insists on call me Killy... You know...there are not many of us left now and we should take care of each other, no matter what."

Michael nodded, patting Tilly's arm. The redhead girl was the sweetest person she ever know. 

"I'll go to the bridge, Saru needs to talk to me. You rest now and let's hope for the best…."

….

Michael eyes scanned the bridge, looking for the damages. There was a white smoke on some panels and one of the stations was completely destroyed. Saru had a pad in his hands, as he gave some orders to an ensign. 

“Saru, you wish to see me.”

“Yes, Commander, I would like to speak to you about my plans for the next two weeks."

Nodding, Michael approached her kelpian friend. They went through a lot since they first assign on shenzhou, under the command of Captain Georgeou. 

Over the last year they learned not just to show mutual respect but to trust each other. 

"Of course, Saru. What 's the status?"

He pointed at the padd on his hands. "As you can see, time travel and the prior battle caused us some harm. We have 67.2% of our systems with severe malfunction and a reduced crew to deal with it. We will be orbiting Terralysiun for at least two or three weeks until we can go anywhere or make plans to hide the ship or to destroy the sfere's information."

Michael nodded, analyzing the data. "Yes, we will be pretty much stuck here, until Discovery is in one piece again."

Saru pointed to the main screen, were the planet's surface was on display. "On my first scanner of Teralysium I could gather some interesting informations. First, we have an substantial increase of population, but the technical advances are not impressive. It is still a non technological world, so the prime directive remains valid. We still can't interfere, but we could find a way to be on the planet unnoticed, gather resources or even hide the ship, or build a base if it's necessary. There are so many possibilities."

Looking at the beautiful planet, so alike earth, she signed. "I agree with you, we must explore the planet. I could go alone, so we don't waste any officer who could be working on the ship."

The tall kelpien made one of his crackling sounds. "I can't agree with it, protocol suggests our planet missions are covered for at least two officers."

Michael thought about her options. "We're going to a human territory, they never interacted with other races, so I can't just take you or anyone who would be obvious alien to them. I could take Tilly, but she talks to much when she gets nervous and I fear she could reveal our disguise."

Saru waited, sensing she was still thinking about alternatives. "I will take Philippa, we are not so important to engineering, so it makes sense we both go. Besides, no one can ever tell what she is thinking and she is an excellent liar."

Turning to Saru, she tilted her head, decided. "Don't worry, we will explore the planet, while you fix discovery. When we get back, we can decide together what to do."

......

Terralysium - day one

The transporter left them on a hidden location, a mile away from "New Eden". In 10 days they should visit two of the three main cities of Terralysium and set camp miles ahead of the habitated border, accessing the wild life territory. They should cartograph the land, look for places to set base and learn about the planet's community.

They walked for half an hour from the landing point, until they reached the city border. As soon as they set foot on New Eden, Michael halted, drinking some water. Once she turned to offer the bottle to her companion, she nottest her shocked expression.

"I am Philippa Georgiou Augustus Laponius Centaurus, Dominus of Qo'Nos, Overlord of Vulcan, Regina Andor... and you, Michael Burnham, dragged me to 'Earth's Middle Age' hell of a planet."

Philippa looked around them, an arrogant smirk on her lips, her eyes scanning their surroundings. In Michael's opinion she was quite adorable in her gray leather jacket, black pants and side bag, awful mood considered.

Since Michael had admitted her feelings toward the woman, words like beautiful, sexy and endearing would come very easily on her mind. She also couldn't avoid the flutter of her heart every time Philippa's spiced scent touched her nose, following the swinging of her ponytail.

Michael had to control her laughter at the other woman's desperate stare. "Don't be so dramatic Philippa, the lack of high advanced technology doesn't mean they are primitive."

"If you say so…" Eyes inspecting their surroundings, she added. "I just saw a interesting animal a few tents away. It looked like a boar, a huge one, by the way."

She winked at Michael. "Will I offend your boring vegetarian diet if I eat some bacon? At least, I can enjoy my time here, indulging on some real food."

Michael rolled her eyes, pointing at the market direction. "C'mon, let's take a look around and understand why people from all neighborhood are here today."

Philippa followed her, trying to avoid bumping into people's shoulders. "The city is frantic, indeed. As much frantic as it could be in the middle of nowhere."

They walked side by side, observing and listening to people's conversation. Part of the mission was to understand habits and patterns, so Discover's crew could walk in Terralysion unsuspected, that being so, Michael's experient eyes were looking out for clues to guide their behavior.

Most of the buildings were made of wood, while the ground beneath their foots was paved in stone. It was lunchtime and the smell of recently cooked food came from everywhere. The streets were narrow and the only vehicles available were small chariots pulled by animals. 

Most people walked on foot, covering almost all the empty spaces between the buildings. Glancing around, Michael tried to understand what she was seeing. The city was crowded, with a good number of merchants fighting for a place to display their products. Saru had been right, they were visiting some kind of celebration.

One specific detail got her attention: most people walking around the barracks and commercial tents were in pairs, of all ages and orientation. 

They were relaxed, smiling to bystanders, walking hand in hand as they talked. Her anthropologist mind immediately figure out the message. Whatever kind of festival they were witnessing, it was probably a blessing for fertility or matrimony. 

That would be a good opportunity for them to mingle with people. Without a second thought, she took Philippa's hand, who turned to her, astonished.

"What do you think you're doing, Michael?" 

"Stop fussing and play along, don't you see we're surrounded by couples?"

The other woman looked around and her features relaxed, once she understood the meaning behind the younger woman's action. Like it often happened, Michael was surprised by Philippa's sharp mind. "Do you think we are in some kind of match festival?"

"These are my thoughts, exactly. We're luck if it's the case, we can walk around and ask questions that normally would raise suspicious." 

Phillipa's hand relaxed on hers, entwining their fingers, her smaller palm fitting so perfect on Michael's larger one. 

"All right, Miss xenoanthropologist, I will follow your lead, but I'll laugh so hard if the natives bring a virgin to be sacrificed for their gods."

They moved in slow pace surrounded by the crowd, their bodies getting closer on each step. Michael could be reading a lot on Philippa's body language, while they walked together among the streets, but the other woman seemed to be enjoying their proximity, closing their distance, as the path became full of people. Once or twice her feet slipped on the stone path and she held Michael's forearm firmly, for support.

The heat of Philippa's body was quit distracting, but Michael would rather be lost forever, than put any distance between than.

As she often did on those kind of ground missions, Michael looked for some approachable merchant. They were always happy to keep a good conversation if the clients were willing to spend some money on their tents.

A very large and similling man greeted them as they approached. "Welcome beautiful couple, how can I help you today?"

Michael was leading Philippa by the hand, so the man addressed her first. "Would you like to buy a gift to your beautiful wife?"

Michael didn't even flinched when she answered. "Of course, thank you! What do you have for her?"

The man showed some of the products on display and Michael choose a black leather band, to Philippa's ponytail. 

Philippa smirked and looked deep into her eyes, as Michael asked her to turn around, so she could hold her hair with the band. Michael's hands took a while longer than expected on the long tresses and, on their own volition, her fingers soft brushed Philippa's neck. Taking a deep breath, she murmured. "Beautifull."

Once Michael realized her touch had last longer than it should, she took a small step back, retrieving her hands, embarrassed.

When Philippa turned to face her, the playful glint had gone from her face. Her eyes softened, as her hand grabbed Michael's again, entwining their fingers.

As Michael seemed to have lost her tongue, Philippa turned to the man, placing a silver coin on his palm. "It's our first time in the city, so tell me, is it always so crowded?"

Michael came out of her trance, her attention back to her surroundings. The man smiled proudly at them, his long arms waving in the air. 

"Oh, if it your first time, you're going to love it! People come from afar to celebrate spring with us. For a entire weekend, the couples celebrate the season, dancing, parting and making love under the stars. On the first night our priestess bless the couples around the main bonfire. This ceremony represents the blessings of our savior, the red angel."

Philippa turned to Michael, an eyebrow raised in question. "The red angel blessing? How interesting."

Looking at them fondly, the man continued. "The most enamored couples as you ladies, should ask for the angel's protection. If you're not married yet, you will be soon enlaced, but if you already are, you will have happiness and prosperity ahead of you."

Michael ignored Philippa's stare at her direction, addressing the man, politely. "Thank you sir and one last thing. Could you please tell us where we can find proper accommodations to spend the night? We would like to enjoy the festivities."

Nodding, the man walked around them, pointing at the end of the street. "You'll need lucky to find some room for the weekend, but you can look for a friend of mine, Debrina. She owns the best place on town. Straight ahead, walk until the end of the main street and look for the "White horse inn". 

Michael thanked the merchant, while Philippa pulled her by the hand. "C'mon Michael, let's eat and drink, while you explain to me why those people are worshiping you in a time suit."

…. 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Philippa

Love was an odd concept in Philippa's life, something foreign and absent from most part of her relationships, including the significant ones. 

Her mother was a cold hearted woman, who saw in Philippa a projection of her own vanity, a piece on a game board, ready to increase the Emperor's power. For a long time, the young girl she once was sought the love and admiration in her mother's eyes, receiving hard criticism and judgment, instead.

She grew up on a cold starship, having nothing more than loneliness as her companion, her heart a shelter for lost dreams. As an adult, during the years of her reign, lovers came and gone, but she never felt for them more than a temporary and distant affection. They were nothing more than a way to achieve sexual relief, even those who tried to get closer. Many of them were interesting in her power or trying to find ways to manipulate her will. 

Each one of them failed, while Philippa kept her heart locked.

The only one able to put down all the barriers had been her daughter. From the moment Philippa set eyes on the terrified girl, who had just witnessed her parents die on a Klingon attack, her heart burst with love, until it crashed again, when Lorca took Michael away from her.

Now, walking on the streets of New Eden, with her body so close to this version of the only human being Philippa ever loved, her heart seemed to be opening again. 

When they first met, Michael told her their bond was strong enough to cross universes. With so many feelings surfacing on her chest, she thought that perhaps, she was right. 

Philippa looked around, amazed with the beautiful patterns of the flags and ribbons decorating the buildings along the street. As they walked down the way, through a river of people celebrating love, her heart felt lighter, her body in peace for the first time in her life. 

Without any turmoil, her mind could finally understand the obvious: the starfleet commander Michael Burnham brought peace to her soul in a way nobody ever done. 

Realization hit her hard and her body trembled, in response to her thoughts. In a second, Michael's strong arms circled Philippa's waist, bringing their bodies even closer. 

Her soft voice touched Philippa's ear, like a lover caress. "Are you alright?"

Philippa nodded, speechless, holding Michael's arms around her, as her body became a mess of sweating and goosebumps.

Unaware of the chaos in the other woman's heart, Michael just held her, sheltering Philippa from the mass of bodies surrounding them. The careful gesture was not necessary, but it touched Philipp's heart, anyway. Nobody ever protect her like this, ever.

Each little point of her back touching Michael's front was in heat. She was distracted by their closeness, trying to get used with so many new feelings. 

The younger woman voice brought her back to reality, her breath caressing Philippa's neck and face. "It's amazing... regardless of their simple way of life, they were able to reproduce some modern ideas and resources. I can see water and sewage system everywhere, the streets are very clean and they seem to be a courteous and respectful people."

Turning her face to the side, so Michael could hear her words, she teased. "I'm relieved you found the sewage system, I thought I would have to pee in a bowl for a week."

Michael's arms tightened around her, as a tall man bumped on their left side. She didn't look the same woman who had been embarrassed just a few moments ago, after a fleeting caress over Philippa's hair and neck. 

Her musings were once again interrupted by that delicious voice, so close to her ear. "You shouldn't be so cheerful, emperor, we will have the comforts of the city only for five days, then we'll be in nature for at least a week."

"I'm sure it will be invigorating, all this fresh air and blinding sunlight." 

Michael laughed, squeezing soft at her waist, "Look, the White Horse Inn, we're almost there."

A mischievous glint lightened Philippa's face as she teased. "Bless the red angel, I'm hungry." 

Michael huffed at her neck, pulling her aside by the waist. Philippa missed the warm embrace as soon as Michael's arms left their perfect place around her body. Fortunately, before she could miss their closeness, Michael pulled her toward the tavern entrance, by their joined hands.

Inside the building, her vision adapted quickly to the low lights. The main room was large and surrounded by wood tables, a delicious smell of bread and roast beef made her stomach growl.

A middle aged woman with expressive green eyes approached them, smiling politely. "Welcome to the White Horse Inn, how can I help you?"

Michael bowed, offering to the woman an wide smile, rarely seen at Discovery's corridors. “Hello, you must be Debrina."

The woman casted an appreciative glance toward Michael, looking her up and down with more intent than it would be expected from someone interesting in sell bed and breakfast. 

Philippa wondered if the burning feeling on the pit of her stomach, followed by an urgent need to claim Michael in front of the woman, could be jealousy. 

"Yes, I'm Debrina, nice to meet you. First time in town?"

Michael's beautiful smile was still shining through the room, adding some more fire at Philippa's chest. Unaware of the scrutiny, the young woman just nodded. "Yes, we would like to stay for the spring festival, do you have any available rooms for the night?”

“Yes, you're luck, I have one room for you and your….companion…" The woman looked at Philippa with a question in her eyes. "It has a large double bed and bathroom with shower and hot water, as well as a nice view of the mountains. Would you like to take a look at it?”

Before the woman created any expectations toward Michael, Philippa stepped closer, holding the narrow waist from behind, while speaking from her shoulder. “Hello, I'm her wife, nice to meet you. We’re taking the room, thank you." 

The gesture was possessive and Debrina nodded slowly, looking from one woman to the other. Michael looked over her shoulder into Philippa's eyes, a raised eyebrow asking a silent question.

Debrina's voice called their attention again. "I'll prepare your accommodations, are you hungry?" At their positive nods, she left to prepare the food and set the room for her guests.

Once they were settled at one of the wood tables, Philippa approached their chairs, so they could sit side by side, resting her hand over Michael's left thigh. At the obvious question in the woman eyes, she huffed. "Don't look so surprised, you're the one who decided to pretend we're married. Do you want to keep with the act or not?"

Shaking her head, as a soft smirk covered her lips, Michael took the soft hand on her lap, entwining their fingers, once again. She was oddly quiet, as if reflecting on something crucial. 

Philippa decided that holding hands with the young woman was her new favorite pastime. 

"Good, now that we're settled, would you be so kind to explain to me why the hell there's a religious worship in your benefit on this planet?"

Michael signed, looking down at the hands on her lap. "I'm not sure how to answer that, but I believe it all began when I came from the future, saving some people from death, during Earth's third war. I brought them here and consequently, they believe they were saved by some kind of angel."

Looking up at Philippa, she added. "But to be honest, I have no Idea why exactly I chose this planet… maybe because it's so alike Earth and I thought it would be good to have people around? I don't know... a large part of my plan remains a mystery to me."

Her eyes were fierce, so many emotions crossing her face. "But there's one thing I can tell you for sure, I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. I feel like I need to express my gratitude to you." 

Voice faltering, she looked down at her lap again, as single tear dropping from her eyes. 

"Thank you for coming with me Philippa, you have no idea how happy it makes me, to look up and see your eyes."

Philippa felt her heart opening up at those words. Before she could second guess her actions, one of her hands caressed Michael's face, waiting until the younger woman looked at her again. "Where else should I be? I know I've never thank you properly for saving my life… I was so furious at that time, for losing the throne…"

Trying to control her emotions, she murmured in a small voice. "My empire was all I had and fury was such a faithful company over the years…. I forgot how to recognize other feelings, Michael."

With a soft squeeze at Michael's hand, she added. "So, thank you for giving me a second chance. I'm glad to be here with you."

They just stared, silently, losing track of the time, until a happy voice startled them. "Hello, I'm Maddy and this is your food!" 

An young woman on her twenties greeted them cheerfully, while she sat some dishes on their table. There was bread, cheese, meat and some unknown vegetables. The young woman had an remarkable resemblance with Debrina, so they should be from the same family. Philippa and Michael offered their thanks, but instead of turning her back, the girl kept staring at them, as if she would say something else.

Holding the tray nervously, she smiled again. "I would like to say you’re such a beautiful couple, I couldn’t avoid to note how adorable you are with each other." She smiled again. "I hope to find a love like that someday."

Philippa smirked, already eating a piece of bread. "Maybe the red angel will hear your wishes tonight and you will find a love as consuming as ours."

Michael looked at her with narrowed eyes, but the girl didn't notice their exchange, smiling widely. 

"I hope so! Have a nice day!"

Looking again into Michael's eyes, she winked. "Or maybe, the red angel will attend mine."

….

Terralysium - spring festival

After eating and paying for their room, they left to explore the city, buying a map from one of the many tents. The streets were still full of couples, but as the hours passed, people were gradually gathering around the church. 

They walked for a while, taking notes about their habits, as well as meteorological and harvest information. They learned, for example, that some natural weather cycle used to keep the city in lack of rain for months. To mitigate the problem the citizens built a large dam, to serve as water source during the worst of drought.

The two women found a good working ritm, helping each other with notes, while they gathered as much information as they could. Michael could just remember of one single person who could be such a nice work partner, as well as a good company: Captain Georgeou. 

While Michael was reminded of their resemblance, as they became closer, she could also register the many differences between the two woman. 

Even if they had a difficult beginning, fighting over almost anything, as the time passed, Michael was learning to enjoy and appreciate Philippa's many qualities. She was clever, attentive, with the faster mind Michael ever met. Her dark sense of humor that once drove Michael crazy, was now an easy source of amusement and they found themselves sharing jokes for most part of the day.

Whenever they walked, Philippa's hand never left Michael's, who felt as if she was in some kind of dream, where her affection would be finally welcome. 

Now, they were waiting side by side, on the blessing line, where the couples would be able to talk with the religious leader. Philippa was restless, her right foot tapping the ground.

"This is so embarrassing…"

"Philippa, be nice…"

Dark eyes looked at her, with impatience. "You do realize we are in a line, waiting to be blessed by a woman who believes you're a deity."

Michael pulled her closer on a side hug, so her words could be whispered on Philippa's ear. She felt some sense of pride to realize the other woman's skin had goosebumps wherever they were close. "Do I have to remind you we're here to understand their habits, to listen to their conversations?"

Philippa huffed, but did not pushed her away. They waited for at least ten more minutes, until a tall redhead called them. They stepped ahead, hands in hands, bowing their heads.

The priestess seemed interest on them, her sharp eyes focused on their faces. "Look what we have here… two souls who had been always looking for each other… you share such an impressive bond!"

Michael smiled, repeating the phrase she had been listening for over an hour. "Would you be so kind to bless us, mother?"

The woman approached, humming a silent prayer. "I'll bless you my children, but you don't need any prayers from me, you have found each other again and nothing will set you apart." 

Cold hands touched their faces, as the woman seemed to be looking for something behind their shoulders. "Oh… you've been separated for so long, haven't you? It was a painful wait, for both of you..."

Looking deep into their eyes, she smiled. "Fear no more, you'll be happy and blessed as long as you live."

Philippa opened her mouth as if to ask something, but the woman had already turned, sitting down on her big wood throne, so Michael had no other choice than to pull Philippa along, taking her away from the line. 

They walked side by side in deep silence for a while, it was already dark and the couples were gathering on the fields around the city, to eat, drink and celebrate their love.

Everywhere they looked they could see fire pits, with couples seated under the moonlight, the air heavy with promises. Michael cleaned her throat, but her voice sounded raspy, anyway. "We should find some place to rest, between them. We can observe and hear them talking."

Nodding, Philippa looked around, avoiding Michael's eyes. "Before we leave the tavern, Maddy gave me some bread and cheese, so we could eat later… I also bought us some wine."

Michael just nodded, taking Philippa's hand again as they climbed a soft hill. Michael noted she was awfully quiet since they received the blessing. 

The temperature was falling as they found a place to their blanket. Michael set a fire, as Philippa put them some wine on wood cups. She sat beside Michael, silently looking everywhere but to her.

"What's wrong? You're so quiet… is there something bothering you?"

A long breath left Philippa's lips and she was silent for so long that Michael thought she wouldn't answer.

"Do you think a lot about her, when you are with me?"

Carefully not to say the wrong words, but needing to be truth, Michael nodded.

"At the beginning yes, I used to. But not anymore." Finally, those beautiful dark eyes found Michael's again, so she continued. "You're so different from each other, in so many ways, there are no possible comparisons."

Philippa's stare was intense. "I don't like the idea of you searching out for her, in me." She had a challenge in her eyes. "I want to be the only thought in your mind when we're together, I don't want to be a poor substitute, never good enough in your eyes."

At that, Michael gasped, a heavy emotional pain hitting her chest. "You don't need to worry about that, you're all I can think about, lately."

Philippa seemed unconvinced, troubled in a deep level and that broke Michael's heart. The need to comfort and reassure was intense. Carefully not to cross unwanted lines, she passed one of her arms around Philippa's back, sitting closer, until their legs and hips touched. 

"Look, I can tell you what the two of you have in common, you're both smart, strong and stubborn as hell, but in everything else, you're so, so different... as the day is different from the night."

Philippa was hugging one of her knees, hands twisting in a nervous way. Maybe it was the wine, but the truth came from Michael's mouth in a easy flow of words. 

"I never had the chance to tell her how I felt, I have no idea how she felt about me." She shrugged, a regretful smile on her lips. "It's sad, but it is the true and she's gone, now. She is part of my story, nothing can change that."

It was difficult to read the emotions crossing Philippa's features, but despite her frustration, Michael continued. "But you became so much more, Philippa. You're right here, right now, you're my present and I wouldn't want it any other way."

Watery eyes, so full of pain were Michael's last straw. Taking Philippa's face in her hand, she closed the small distance, kissing those luscious lips with abandon. Philippa's arms were around her neck immediately, as her tongue invaded Michael mouth with purpose. It was difficult to restrain her hands, with Philippa's moaning like that, as if she was tasting a banquet.

Michael pulled her closer, until their chests were touching, but the angle was not favorable. As if reading her thoughts, Philippa turned, straddling her legs. The full embrace ignited a fire in Michael's belly and her lips descended to the soft column of a neck, inciting a loud moan. 

"Michael…" Her name said in that sultry voice was the most delicious sound she ever heard. Their arms held in a desperate attempt to be as close as possible, hands becoming bolder by the minute. 

In a corner of her mind, Michael remember they were making out on an open hill, on an unknown planet. Proving again how connected they were, Philippa whispered on her ear. "You must use your vulcan rational mind to stopped this, because I doubt I can."

Michael smiled at that, taking Philippa's lips again, keeping, however, her strokes softer, not to arouse but to soothe. They signed in unison, looking in each other eyes. In a swift move, Michael laid down, bringing Philippa lithe body to lie among her side, her head resting on Michael's shoulder. 

Legs entwined, hands lightly caressing each other, they found some peace in their silence. 

Philippe's voice was just a murmur, her eyes looking up at the sky. "We don't really see the stars aboard a ship, don't you agree?"

A smiling kiss set place on Philippa's head, as Michael whispered. 

"No, it's never the same thing…"

….

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Michael

She was perfectly aware they had a job to do. It was never easy to gather information from a new culture, even if the said culture had so many in common with Earth. 

There were terms to be defined like unknown objects, the name of new food, animals or plants. Walking among people, you would also have to be attentive with language. In every culture there were jokes, popular saying or proverbs to translate, and of course, an entire environment to be observed, with its discoveries and dangers. Wildlife and biodiversity were a delicate issue, because you could cross paths with a dangerous predator or a poisonous plant. 

Philippa's skills were as impressive as her focus. When she had a task on her hand, she would do anything to finish it. 

Even not being a specialist in this kind of assignment, she showed a innate talent to make the right questions or to guide the conversation to their benefit. It made Philippa even more irresistible on Michael's eyes, if this was even possible.

They were a great team, they found a good pace and now they knew each other's touch. 

Michael was perfectly aware they had a importar task ahead and they should be a hundred percent focused on it, but all things considered, she was not strong enough to deny her feelings right now. 

After their emotional talk and amazing kiss, they spent almost two hours on that hill, talking about nothing, drinking wine and kissing a little more. When they finally decided to go back to their room, Philippa helped her to stand, because of course, as someone raised by the stoic Sarek, she was not used to alcohol on her system. 

"You're drunk, vulcan."

Not wanting to admit how dizzy she was, Michael huffed. "I'm not drunk, I'm just... tipsy."

Philippa rolled her eyes, before collecting their things. With both of their bags on her shoulder, she came back to Michael, holding her waist. "Yeah… someone will have a nice headache tomorrow."

"How come you're not even slightly affected by the wine?"

"I have a legendary alcohol tolerance, dear. In my universe I was known to put generals and ministers on shame. C'mon, let's go back to the inn, we need to rest."

They walked down the hill, sometimes laughing, often arguing and kissing a little more. Their progress through the streets was unhurried, much for Michael's drunk insistence on pushing Philippa to dark corners, on every chance she got. 

They finally got to their room, stumbling at the door, when Michael broke into a fit of laughter. Sitting on the bed, she pulled Philippa by the waist, attacking her neck with purpose. The older woman moaned, holding Michael head on the place. Their kisses were getting bolder and Michael's hands found their way under Philippa's sweater, caressing the soft skin on her back.

"You drive me crazy, Philippa."

Philippa stopped for a moment, looking deep into Michael eyes. "You know… I love the way you say my name… and what you make me feel.."

She kissed Michael again, but instead of enticing, her kisses became slower, deeper. She pushed Michael back with a moan and stood. "Unbelievable, I'm getting soft for Michael Burhan."

In her confused state mind, Michael tried to understand why Philippa had stop. "I don't get it, why would you say that?"

Helping Michael to take off her boots, she winked. "Because you're in a perfect position to be taken advantage of, but I want you to be sober when we make love for the first time."

Gathering the last straws of her coherent thoughts, Michael murmured. "Are you saying you don't want to make love to me?"

Philippa signed, helping Michael to get under the duvet. "I know, it's beyond belief… Right now, the Emperor Philippa inside me is rolling her eyes and shaking her head disapprovingly, because I never had problems on attacking drunk maidens."

Taking off her own jacket, with unsteady hands, Michael yawned. "Well, this drunk maiden would love to be attacked by you, but I'm in a bad shape now, baby… so, maybe, if I sleep a little..."

These were Michael's last words for the night, and now, bright sunlight, shining through the curtains, was killing her. A groan left her lips as she opened her eyes, the blood in her head pulsating like a tribal drum. 

Philippa was nowhere to be seen, but there was a note, a wood cup and a hypospray at the nightstand.

With shaking hands, Michael took the note. "Good morning darling, there's a pain killer and tea for your hangover, I'm downstairs already working on our maps. When you're ready to take some breakfast, you can join me… come quickly, I already miss you."

There was something else written on the other side of the paper. "Oh, I almost forgot, you snore when you're drunk…"

Michael moaned again, taking the hypospray with trembling hands. Fortunately, in less than a minute, the pain had diminished, but she was still sensitive to sunlight or any sounds. After a shower she was feeling like an human being again, so she decided to look for her lover.

A tiny smile covered her face at his particular thought. Despite the hangover, she still could remember how perfect it felt to have Philippa in her arms. 

Since the beginning, Michael was attracted and aggravated at the same time. She could remember the development of their relationship, all of it making sense now. The strange and irresistible connection, the desire to be closer, the need to fight over everything, the dispute for power between them, all of it was there as Michael feelings became deeper, without her even noticing.

Thinking about all their time together, it was hard to find the exact moment when she fell in love, but now, that feelings were defining her existence, more than anything before. She was human, vulcan, starfleet commander and she belonged to Philippa.

After taking her bag and closing the door behind her back, she stopped for a moment, confused.  
As much as she tried, she couldn't remember how she got there last night, so she looked out for the stairs.

Once in the main room, she found Philippa eating some breakfast, sharp eyes scanning maps covered on notes. She looked up from her work with a raised eyebrow, a expresion Michael was recognizing now as her playful mood. Her eyes were full of honest affection as she appraised Michael's body from head to toe, in a blatantly sexual way. Michael was learning to love that hungry look.

In a voice louder than necessary Philippa greeted the young woman. "Good morning, wife? How are you feeling?"

Narrowing her eyes in what should be a menacing way, Michael answered between her clenched jaw. "Why are you screaming?"

Her voice was even louder than. "Who is screaming? Maaadyyy!!!"

Sometimes she could kill Philippa when she had that knowing smile on her face or that sarcastic glint on her eyes. Head dropping on her hands, Michael just murmured. "Oh, my god, would you stop it? This is not funny."

"Yes, it is, but don't worry, even with hangover, you're the most beautiful woman I ever seen." That flirtatious smile was back again and the wink.

Maddy came quickly with a smile on her face. "Yes, Mrs. Philippa, how can I help you?"

"Please, bring some breakfast to my lovely wife. She drank a little bit too much last night."

Maddy smiled even wider. "Oh, no problem, half of this city remains in bed this morning. I'll bring some tea and a light ham with some bread, to placate your stomach."

The girl turned around in a hurry, as Michael sat on the table. "Sometimes I wonder how did I fell in love with such annoying person."

Philippa smiled at that, placing a glass of water in front of Michael. "Here, you need to keep hydrated, gorgeous."

Looking up again, Michael finally smiled, leaning in to place a kiss on Philippa's smiling mouth. "Good morning." Another kiss and she looked at the table. "What do we have here?"

Pointing to the map, Philippa humed. "We have a few things to settle, before we leave tomorrow morning."

Shaking the last traces of dizziness from her head, Michael looked at the map, her heart speeding up when Philippa's came closer, her sweet scent involving her senses. 

"Here's where we are: New Eden. From here we can travel two paths, the main road for Rhisa, from were we can go northeast, to the wild lands, as they call. Most of the merchants we saw in the city are from Rhisa, meaning they will be following this way back."

Looking up from the map, she continued. "So, if we take this road we will have the company of a good number of people, going back home after the festival. It could be interesting in case we want to learn more about the villagers, but we would have a good chance to make mistakes, revealing our identity."

Thinking about it, Michael agreed. They would be among people for long hours and they would need to talk and, probably, deal with questions. "What would be our alternative?"

"Our second option would be to take a secondary road, an ancient one, which goes from here to here." 

The signs on the map showed another way, more winding and through the woods. The path seemed a good option, if it weren't for Philippa's troubled frown.

"I suppose if you didn't decide for this road yet, we must have some challenge here. Especially if most people don't take it."

"Your assumption is correct, as far as I could understand, there are outlaws on this road and some kind of animal called "gwnar"."

"Gwnar? What is that?"

"That's a good question, so, I need your xenoanthropologyst skills to find out. Apparently, those things were responsible for the death of some villages last month."

Looking around, Philippa pointed her chin to a corner where Debrina and Maddy were working. "Maybe one of them could tell us. But how would you ask?" 

Michael imagined if luck was at their side, when Debrina came to the table, with the food they ordered. "Good morning, Michael, I heard you're not feeling well this morning."

Already thinking on ways to ask about the said animal, she smiled to the woman. "Good morning, Debrina, I indulged on the pleasures of wine last night, but I'm feeling better by the minute." 

Philippa released a disapproving sound when Debrina smiled even wider. If Debrina noticed Philippa's jealousy, she ignored it. 

"I'm glad to hear it. Other than breakfast, I brought you some green tea, to help you with sickness."

Michael smiled, while Philippa huffed again, at the discrete flirtation tone. "Debrina, I need some information that maybe you could give us."

Without a second thought, Debrina took one of the chairs and sat on their table. "Of course, what do you need to know?"

"Well, Philippa and I will be leaving first thing in the morning, to Rhisa. We heard you had some gwnar attacks last season. Is that correct?"

"Yes, they're getting bolder over time, after all, humans are an easy prey. Last month was the last attack and it was particularly troubling, because it happened on the main road."

Looking from one woman to the other, she added. "At least, until a couple of years ago they used to attack only on the secondary road, but as I said, they are getting bolder."

Philippa narrowed her eyes. "There were any witnesses of the attack? Any survivors?"

"Yes, they were in a caravan coming from Rhisa. Most of them are peaceful men, merchants that come to our city twice a month, to sell fabric and tapestry."

Debrina had a sad frown on her face. "Unfortunately, two of them died and the creature dragged one of their bulls to the forest." 

The bulls were the traction animals used to pull wagons or to transport people. They were the size of a regular horse. Philippa tilted her head to the side, commenting in a low voice.

"I imagine if this gwnar was a big one…"

"Oh, yes, from what they said, it was huge, of the size of four bulls."

What Debrina said next was probably not to be heard by anyone, so she lowered her voice. "In my opinion we should bring hunters from Devan to put those gwnars down, but the city council it's more concerned about religion than business."

Debrina folded her hands, resting her elbows on the table. "Decades ago, the gwnars used to stay on the wild forests beyond Rhisa, but then, they changed their habits and Rhisa became an easy target."

Her eyes were cold, as she continued. "They built a wall to prevent some attacks, but they never stopped. Now, they're coming to our borders. I wonder when the council will understand we have a problem here."

Signing, she looked to both of them. "So, my friends, be careful whichever road you take."

Michael nodded. "Thank you for the information, Debrina, we'll be careful."

Someone from the kitchen called the host and she stood. "I need to go now, I imagine you'll be on the festivities during the day and you leave early, so if I don't see you, have a nice travel and I hope to have you back here, anytime."

After shaking hands with Debrina, they looked back to the maps. Philippa jaws were tense, as they used to be before a fight. 

"I imagine if I'll have you lecturing me for hours, if I use my phaser on one of those things."

Michael reply was fast. "Don't worry, I'll use it myself, if any gwnars get close to you."

Philippa's eyes softened, as she took the younger woman hand. "And if it comes any close to you, we'll have a dispute over who shoots it faster."

Looking down to Michael's plate, she enquired. "Have you done eating?"

"Yes, we can go when you're ready."

Philippa was already folding her maps. "So, c'mon, let's take a walk while the city is still sleeping."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Spring Festival - day 2

In the old days, if anyone has ever said Emperor Philippa Georgiou would be walking hand in hand with a woman 20 years younger, in a barely civilized planet, such person would be declared insane and condemned to death.

But, strange as it may seen, here she was, feeling a odd sense of completion everytime Michael smiled at her, while walking on the streets of New Eden, this pathetic excuse for a city.

Of course, habits die hard, so, she was still pretty much herself on so many ways, rolling her eyes at villagers, making caustic remarks about their primitive habits, or wanting to take Debrina’s eyes off, just to prevent her to keep looking at her lover. 

Because Michael was hers and Philippa had always been quite possessive about anything or anyone who made her feel alive. It was just something she couldn't control.

Maybe the reason for that was a life of so many losses, or maybe it's just the way she is. As cold as she could be, implacable and revengeful, she always suffered with the depth of her feelings. 

If she could hate like no one, looking out to destroy her enemies at any costs, the love she feel was equally intense and consuming. That had always been her downfall, the intensity of her soul.

Slowly, Michael occupied all the dark corners of her heart, some places that haven't seen any light for decades. 

So many aspects of Michael's personality were like irresistible magnets, the half Vulcan rationality, a perfect match to Philippa's cold pragmatism, while her human passionate nature answered to every one of Philippa's physical calls. 

It never been easy for Philippa to admit her feelings for anyone, but even if she hadn't confessed her love to the younger woman yet, she was not a coward to deny her feelings to herself. 

And she was in love, very much so, to a point where she would do anything under her power to keep Michael by her side, moving heavens and earth to make her happy.

On the previous day, after the priestess blessing, Philippa had to deal with so many conflicting emotions, as her possessiveness rose in great speed. Somehow, that superstitious woman had disturbed her peace of mind with her words about their deep connection. 

Instead of feeling happiness at the prospect of being in Michael's life for good, all her mind could picture was the other woman Michael once loved, that woman Emperor Philippa would never be. It didn't escape her attention the ridiculous idea of being jealous of another version of herself. 

While her thoughts consumed her with doubts, Michael surprised her again, opening her heart and making Philippa feel even more in love, if that was even possible. 

On that blessed hill, they kissed and cuddled and kissed a lot more, but the younger woman had too much wine for the night, so unfortunately, Philippa had to postpone her plans to make love until the sun rose. 

If she could have her way now, they wouldn't be working on collecting songs in the streets of New Edan. If she could choose, they would be entwined in some bed, enjoying each others company with no one to disturb them.

But, when a woman can't determine her faith, she can put her frustration into work.

So, in the morning of the second day, they were enjoying a peaceful walk on empty streets, recording lyrics with their hidden equipment. Now and then, their eyes met above someone's head and soft smiles connected their souls.

The day was beautiful, with a pale sunlight bringing new colors for the buildings. They gathered many of the popular songs, which, according to Michael, would provide them with information about Terralysium's daily life.

If Philippa couldn't be alone with her beloved, she could, at least, touch and kiss at every chance, having the satisfaction of being, as well, the object of the other woman passion for the entire morning. Their lips were becoming hungrier by the minute, along with their feverish hands, eagerly mapping each others bodies. 

By noon, they sat under an old tree to lunch and Philippa found herself pushing Michael's hands away from her body not once, but twice.

"You keep those hands for yourself if you're planning on working on the songs, I can't think straight when you're touching me like that."

Michael's smile was brighter than the sun, with a hint of playfulness on the corners of her eyes. "But I love the idea of making you crazy for my touch, so why stop?"

Philippa stood, offering her hand to the other woman. When their eyes were at same level, she kissed Michael with purpose, pushing her hard against the tree. Once she had Michael's body undulating under her touch, she murmured, between kisses. 

"Because as soon as we start, nothing is going to stop us, until we're both sated, is that clear?" 

Michael's dilated pupils were a good clue that Philippa made a point. Her words were slower than normal, when she answered. 

"All right, let's work a little more and them…"

Grabbing Philippa's waist firminy, she gave her one last, deep kiss. "... we can take the night  
off." 

As the day passed, people were again partying, but instead of religious worship, they were dancing around dozens of musicians. Asking about the tradition to one of the singers, they learned the last day of the festival would bring melody and courtneship to the streets. 

Philippa observed Michael's tense back when the musician smiled, saying they could celebrate their love dancing all day long. As they walked away from the crowd, her discomfort was evident, so Philippa shook their entwined hands, playfully. 

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing… nothing is wrong…"

The older woman didn't insist, but imagined if her stoic, vulcan lover was embarrassed about something so simple as dancing. Philippa already learned that whenever Michael was uncomfortable with her feelings, she would grow quiet and pensive. 

That wouldn't do. Philippa wouldn't let her hide her feelings that way, so instead of trying to talk, she casually held the younger woman by the waist, as they walked between dancing people. Some of them were spending their time in groups, jumping and spinning in a fast pace, while others were enjoying slow rhythms, more appropriate to couples. 

It was already night, when Philippa decided to join one of the dancing crowds, pulling Michael by the waist. The young woman stopped, eyes widening. 

"Philippa, wait… what are you doing?"

Turning swiftly, Philippa embraced Michael, her arms involving broad shoulders. 

"What does it look like, I'm dancing with my lover…"

"But, I don't know how to…"

At Michael's tense, almost frozen pace, Philippa held her more firmly, entwining their legs. 

"Shut up, darling and stop bothering me, you're already dancing."

With steady, graceful swinging moves, Philippa led them through a small circle of people, but Michael was still acting like a frightened cadet, dancing on her first ball. 

Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Philippa huffed. "Would you please, drop the vulcan attitude and relax?"

After another moment, she finally felt Michael's arms circling her waist, her body softening, as her steps followed Philippa's moves. Holding her partner even closer, Philippa relaxed her grip, bringing her face to the crook of Michael's neck. 

She smiled, when Michael held her tentatively, spinning their bodie in a perfect sync. A soft kiss was delivered on Philippa's neck, while her mind registered how they were so well connected on the right places, breasts, bellies, hips, legs and how her heart was beating faster in excitement.

For someone who claimed she never danced, Michael was not just learning very fast how to lead a partner, but also multitasking and delivering hot kisses on the older woman's neck. 

Between a kiss and a soft bite, she murmured. "Philippa, you told me you were dancing with your lover, but a moment ago, I thought I was sparring with a proficient Suus Mahna warrior."

With undisguised happiness, Philippa looked at her eyes. "If you weren't so stubborn, you could have told me you didn't know how to dance… I would love to spend many hours teaching you..." After another kiss, she added. "You're a very good dancer, if you want my opinion and I would be delighted to have some personal classes on Suus Mahna as well, if that means I have an excuse to keep touching you." 

It was amazing how much her heart fluttered at Michael's broad smile. "You don't need any excuses to touch me, baby, I'm yours."

Those words, said in that sultry voice, warmed her body from head to toe. Michael was now leading their steps with surprising grace and Philippa, already excited to a point of no return, caressed the younger woman's neck, bringing their lips together.

Their kisses grew in intensity and heat, not a inch separating their bodies. Now in perfect control of their movements, Michael deepened the kiss, her hot tongue invading Philippa's mouth with no merci. Her thoughts were far beyond any rational reason, but she still registered they were heading to a darker corner, where the trees offered a natural protection from prying eyes. 

Michael's arms were firm around her, while she guided her to the woods, her lips everywhere between Philippa's mouth, jaws, neck and collar bones. Back to her ear, Michael's voice sounded hungry. 

"I love your smell… the taste of your skin drives me crazy."

Philippa held Michael face, looking for her eyes. "And I can't wait to have you naked under me, my darling…" Her lips crashed over Michae'l again and Philippa didn't recognize the moans coming from her own throat, as the younger woman sucked her tongue.

Their steps were slow, but eventually they found a place that offered some privacy, between some old trees.

Encouraged by Phillippa's sounds of pleasure, Michael's hands became bolder, roaming over her back, fingertips finding the hot skin of her waist. 

Although their clothes were practical to this kind of mission, they were now an annoying obstacle between hands and heated flesh.

A gasp left Philippa's lips when Michael pressed her body against a tree trunk, while open mouthed kisses and love bites on her neck send shivers for all her body. 

If that was not enough to make her melt under Michael's touch, the hot whisper on her ear made her eyes roll in pleasure.

"Philippa… I want you."

Philippa rose one of her legs, locking Michael's hips on hers. She offered a luscious smile, followed by a bite on Michael's lips. "And what are you waiting for taking me?"

Their breaths were heavy, chests rising and falling, as Michael stopped for a moment, holding Philippa's face in her right hand, while her left arm circled a narrow waist, bringing their bodies impossibly closer.

Watery eyes, full of affection, looked in the depths of Philippa's soul. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

A warm sweet feeling blossomed on Philippa's chest, it was something new, foreign. Blinking fast tears, she opened her mouth to answer, but words failed, as Michael brought their lips together once more. 

The previous heat, became a deeper desire to touch every inch of Michael's body and soul, with no barriers. Breaking the kiss, Philippa mimicked Michael's action, holding her head to look deep in her eyes.

"Is time to go back to our room, so I can also show you how much I want you."

Michael nodded, offering that irresistible smile. "I don't know if my legs can move right now."

"Then, you just need to follow me, my love."

…..

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Michael

She couldn't remember the last time she had been so nervous, or even tense, in any way. Actually, Michael was very proud of her calm nature, especially in crisis. The ability to be fearless, no matter the challenge, was one of her special features. 

Perhaps, if they had gone straight to bed as soon as they crossed the door, her her heart wouldn't be jumping like that. Maybe, if her anxiety had been converted into action, she wouldn't be trembling like a nervous teenager.

But, as usually, things almost never happen the easier way, so, when they reached their room, there was a incoming message from Discovery. 

The message was not exactly a surprise, since Saru was aware of their schedule, so, as expected, they received food and equipment for the journey to Risa.

Both of them were very interested in hearing news from the ship. They sighed in relief to hear Stamets would survive, on the other hand, they shared Saru's worries, when they heard the damage to Discovery's circuits was much worse than imagined, delaying any future plans.

While Michael spoke with the Kelpien, Philippa made a checklist of their recently transported belongings. There were warmer clothes, protein bars, dehydrated food and two sleepings bags, all of it resembling what they could have purchased on the planet.

Informed about the risks of the journey, Tilly included a perimeter scanner, able to offer information about any life forms, at a safe distance. 

After Michael transferred the collected data to Discovery, they ended transmission, but instead of going straight back to each other arms, they decided to check everything one last time, to prevent any delays in the morning. 

So, Michael finally could work her anxiety off, helping Philippa to organize and pack equipment. Once again, she was surprised with their combined efficiency. They were equally practical and often prioritized the same things, communicating without words, while working. 

In less than a hour, they were done and Philippa cast a last appraising look at their belongings. 

"It's all settled for tomorrow." 

Smiling at Michael, she added. "The perimeter checker was a nice touch. I'm wondering if it was your idea."

Michael sat at the end of bed, taking off her boots. "You must thank Tilly for it, and so do I." Looking up, she grimaced. "We would have a difficult time indeed, having to catalogue species and monitor the environment, constantly worried about animal attacks."

"Who doesn't love Killy." Philippa winked on her usual playful mood, taking off her jacket and boots. "I hope we don't see any of these 'gwnars' tomorrow." 

She stood a few feet away, casually undressing, as if they were a long term couple. Michael took a steady breath, unable to take her eyes away from toned arms and flawless skin. Philippa didn't seem to notice Michael's intense gaze, distractedly taking of her sweater, then losing her beautiful hair. 

She folded her discarded clothes and retrieved a hairbrush from her side bag, absently passing it through her hair. 

"I believe we can avoid the crowds if we leave just before the sun rise. What do you think?"

When Michael didn't answer, Philippa realized she had been observed, her cheeks turning red in a second.

She froze on the spot, looking deep into Michael's eyes. Michael couldn't control the frenetic beat of her heart at the vision of a barefoot Philippa, casually brushing her hair in cargo pants and tank top. When the silence stretched and the tension became unbearable, she swallowed hard, but her voice trembled anyway. 

"Are you tired?"

The embarrassed look had gone from Philippa's eyes, replaced by that hungry expresion, Michael loved so much. 

Tilting her head, Philippa bit her bottom lip. "I'm not that tired."

Michael let out a surprised gasp as Philippa crossed the distance in two strides, taking Michael's boots from her hands and throwing them on the wood floor, with no ceremony.

A different kind of smile covered Philippa's face, one Michael has never seen. It was intense, tender and demanding. It was beautiful.

A moment later, she was at Michael's lap, kissing her hungrily, while her hands caressed Michael's shoulders, taking her jacket off.

"I believe this is exactly where we stopped last night, when you passed out on me, Burnham." Her hands were roaming over Michael's shoulders and chest. "And you know you shouldn't leave an emperor waiting."

Swallowing hard, she took one of Philippa's hands, kissing her palm. 

"Do you have any idea what you do to me, Philippa?"

Her fingertips caressed Michael lips, her eyes were unfocused, pupils dilated while her breath was labored.

"No, I don't. Would you tell me?"

Michael smiled, her hands moving up and down on Philippa' back, holding her on her lap. "You drive me crazy with want… you make me nervous."

"A anxious vulcan? I like the sound of that, the idea of you throbbing in need for me." Philippa hands caressed Michael's neck and shoulder. "Maybe I can help you to relax."

Any answer Michael could offer was swallowed by another deep kiss, a hot tongue invading her mouth, turning any coherent thoughts impossible. 

In the foggy state of her mind, she could register Philippa's delicious weight on her tights, the light pressure of her undulating hips. 

Michael lips descended on a soft neck, kissing and nipping, until her mouth found the hem of Philippa's tank top. 

With avid hands, she caressed Philippa's breasts, sucking overstimulated niples. Her mind registered the delicious sounds coming from her lover's mouth… her lover. This amazing, strong, beautiful woman was quivering in want for her and nobody else. 

That thought alone was enough to set free a hungry beast she didn't even know existed. Philippa's tank top was gone in a second and Michael eyes devoured her ivory skin. 

"You're so damn beautiful."

As the minutes passed and their lips became more avid, she could feel Philippa's body melting on her. 

Michael was thinking on how they fit so well, when small, capable hands reached blindly for the hem of her sweater.

"Take this off, I need to feel you."

The first touch of their naked chests elicited the most delicious moans from both of them. Philippa took a small distance, to appreciate Michael's breasts and belly, hands touching every portion of flesh they could reach.

"You have such a beautiful skin, Michael, such a lovely body. You're beautiful, my love." 

Michael's heartbeat increased, just for hearing the term of endearment said on that low tone of voice. Her blood boiled when Philippa's arms returned to her shoulders, while a hot mouth traced a perfect pattern on her neck.

Philippa's breath touched Michael's ear. "your skin is so hot, is this for me?"

Michael's hands became bolder, touching Philippa's back, her waist and lower, where her legs were still clothed.

"Only for you, baby."

Philippa's weight was surprising light, when Michael lifted her, turning them both on bed. She was on top now and she didn't miss a second to take off Philippa's pants.

Her state of arousal was evident, her sweet spice smell inviting all of Michael's senses. Philippa's hands also became frantic, helping Michael to get rid of her own clothes. 

"I want you, Michael. I need to feel all of you."

Even in her own state of arousing, Michael wanted to enjoy their moment, but Philippa's hands and mouth were impatient. 

As much as she wished to go slower, Michael was at the edge, using all her vulcan self control to temper her own responses to Philippa's touch. With some difficulty, she struggled to calm her body.

"Not so fast, baby, or I won't last."

Philippa made a adorable frustrated sound, grabbing the younger woman by the waist. Before she could react, Michael was on her back, with Philippa between her legs, pinning her on the sheets. She didn't lose a second, her hands exploring Michael's belly, and lower, where the young woman needed her so.

"You can have me as many times you want, my dear… later."

Her hands found Michael's swollen folds and she hissed. "You're so wet for me, darling. You can't wait, neither do I."

Michael's vision became blurred as two delicious fingers penetrated her with no mercy, her folds so wet, her body accepted the sweet invasion with easy. Philippa kissed her hard, straddling her right thigh. 

Soon, they found a sensuous ritm, their sweaty bodies offering the right friction to their perfectly synchronized moves. Michael's hand found a swollen clit and Philippa's eyes rolled in pleasure.

Michael was almost there, but even in her aroused state of mind, she could feel Philippa's wetness on her thigh, and she grabbed the other woman ass, to increase their connection. 

Philippa moaned as their hands hurried, her passionate eyes looking at Michael's. The feeling of belonging was overwhelming, so Michael closed her eyes.

Philippa's hoarse voice brought her back to the moment. "Look at me, Michael, I want to see your beautiful eyes when you come for me."

Philippa's flushed face, her breasts touching Michael chest while they fucked, were her undoing, so she came, hard. 

The fingers inside her curled, escalating Michael's pleasure. "Yes! Come for me, darling."

A sound she barely recognized came from her own throat. "Oh… Philippa… oh, god!"

In a second, Philippa followed her, trembling hard as she came, her body limp in Michael's arms. 

Their labored breath was the only sound on the room. Minutes passed while soft hands caressed sweaty skin, their spent bodies entwined. Philippa weight was surprisingly comfortable, as she lied half over Michael's body. 

She smiled when Philippa nuzzled her closer, inhaling deep in her scent, her adorable sleepy voice murmuring her last words for the day.

"Sleep now gorgeous… love you so…"

Michael closed her eyes, also dozing off, her heart in peace for the first time in years. 

"Love you too, baby."

The world faded away, they were tired, after all.

…….

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Terralysium - day 3

Philippa

Philippa woke up startled, with a strange feeling of arousing penetrating her consciousness. Her body was in heat, her breasts and belly overstimulated, as soft hands caressed her skin. 

Soon enough she recognize the touch of her young lover, her warm body spooning Philippa's back, as eager lips kissed the curve of her neck. She signed in pleasure as strong hands commanded her body. 

She moaned, tilting her pelvis to better fit in the curve of Michael's body. Philippa's voice was hoarse with sleep and desire, her cunt dripping wet. 

"Humm… what a nice way to wake up."

She felt a smile on her neck. "Sorry, but I couldn't wait…"

A strong sense of pride invaded her heart at the mere idea of Michael craving for her. 

Voice trembling, she whispered. "No complaints will be heard from me." A bite on her shoulder elicited a moan. "So, now that you have me, what are you going to do about it?"

Michael's hands became bolder, caressing her belly, pinching her niples in a maddening pace. In some distant corner of her mind, Philippa registered how easily her body surrendered to those fingers, how fast her skin became a slave to that soft mouth.

She could feel Michael's laboured breath on her skin, as soft hands rolled her over. Now on top, Michael took advantage of her position, sucking Philippa's breasts and belly. 

Slowly, Michael moved her lips down, to Phillipa's undulating hips, looking up with a mischievous glint on her eyes, while she opened her lover's legs.

Philippa inhaled deeply. "I need your mouth on me, darling."

"You just read my mind, emperor." A hot tongue touched Philippa's most intimate place, turning any thoughts imposible. 

It was quite remarkable how Michael's perception of her body worked, her incredible awareness of Philippa's most intimate needs. She always seemed to know the right places to touch, as well as the intensity of her demands. 

At that precisely moment Michael's mouth was ravenous, licking and sucking her clit as if she had been starved for a lifetime.

Looking down, Philippa was marveled at the sight of the powerful muscles at Michael's back, covered by that silky, perfect ebony skin. Her body was a perfect combination of strength and softness, a delightful contradiction. 

While she admired her lover's beauty, an unwelcome feeling of dread surfaced in a darker corner of her mind. The love she felt for Michael, so consuming and so pure, could also be her ruin, if the young woman left her. And it was a matter of time until she did, because everybody left Philippa, sooner or later.

The agony behind the intruder thoughts threatened her happiness for a few seconds, but before it came fully to her attention, it was gone again, under her body demands.

The pleasure was intense, so overwhelming that Philippa's hands searched blindly to anything to anchor her. When she thought she couldn't stand anymore, Michael's fingers penetrate her and she cried in ecstasy, as the blissful waves of orgasm assaulted all her senses.

Moments later, she finally opened her eyes to find Michael's beautiful smile just inches from her own face.

Her voice was a perfect music to Philippa's years. "Good morning, beautiful. It's time to go to Rhisa."

She kissed Michael's lips once and twice, stretching her back as a cat. "Yes and we should be on road, already. "

Philippa's chest swelled in affection at the vision of that broad grim. Her emotions, always so well locked, were now surfacing like a volcano.

Instead of be warmed by the thought, her feelings betrayed her again. For the first time in her life she was in love and for the first time she was losing control over her heart. And that was terrifying.

Delivering a soft peck on Philippa's lips, Michael stood. "I know, but the delay was worthy, don't you agree?"

Philippa looked up and down at Michael's curves appraisingly, while her lover grabbed a towel, heading to the bathroom. 

The scene was so pedestrian and so familiar it brought tears to Philippa's eyes. 

Michael was such beautiful and thrusting woman, opening her heart with no reservations. 

How could Philippa be enough for her? Michael deserved the company of a dedicated and sensitive partner and not of a cold heart woman who had no idea on how to love.

Eventually, Michael would realize a terrain was not good enough for her, wouldn't she? And when that time comes, Philippa would be left in a desert of longing and pain. 

Michael's voice coming from the bathroom was a inviting music behind the sound of water flowing.

"Both of us need a shower, care to join me, beautiful?"

As much as Philippa would like to be the one to bring smiles to Michael's lips, she doubted the young woman would be satisfied on the long run.

If Michael could see Philippa's face now, she would be shocked to see unfamiliar tears rolling over sadden features. 

"I'll be there in a minute, my love."

….

Terralysium - day 3

The road to Rhisa

Then ended up being late, anyway, after another round of the best sex Philippa ever had. 

With the same combined efficiency showed on the last two days, they left their accommodations in good time.

When they reached the city borders, the sun was already at the horizon, but the sky was cloudy and the wind suggested a rainy day. 

It was the perfect weather to match Philippa's somber mood.

As predicted, the route to Rhisa was crowded by an increasing number of merchants going back home, after the holidays.

In half an hour they reached the point where they should access the older path, moving slowly around people. Almost every single person they crossed had an amicable smile on their faces, politely greeting them as they walked.

Following Michael as they reached another caravan, Philippa commented. "Everybody is so nice in this planet, it's boring."

Michael's smile was amused, as they walked through people. "They're villagers, with scarce resources to count on. Survival depends on collective cooperation."

"I should tell them I'm having sex with the Red Angel. That would be groundbreaking."

Her answer was harsher than she intended and Michael was suddenly serious, looking at her with a question in her eyes.

Philippa knew her voice had been devoid of affection, so out of place considering what they've been through on the last couple of days.

However, she couldn't control her emotions, a mix of uncertainty, insecurity and fear were driving her to an abysm of self deprecating thoughts. 

She didn't want to hurt the younger woman, but Philippa never had dealt with fear in a healthy way. On contrary, every time she felt threatened, her reaction was destructive.

From their position on the pathway, they could see the beginning of the old road a few yards away, but they were forced to stop on the roadside, to wait until a large group of people, pulling bulls by the reins passed.

Michael's eyes were watching the caravan, her jaw clenched. Taking a deep breath, she finally looked up into Philippa's eyes. 

"Philippa, what are we doing?"

It took awhile until she could understand the meaning behind the question and at least another minute until she gathered the courage to answer it. 

Her heart was beating fast on her chest, while she tried to put into words all she was feeling. As much as she tried, nothing occurred to her. How could she explain to such a wonderful young woman that she knew nothing about love? That maybe she had absolutely nothing to offer... how would she explain that her heart have been frozen for so long that the fear of being hurt was overwhelming?

Out of habit, she did what she always have done when a lover asked for more, she dismissed the issue. 

She looked away, embarrassed. "Do we need to put labels on it?" 

Of course that was the wrong answer and a cold feeling took place on the pit of her stomach, as soon as she realized Michael's disappointment. The young woman's features shot down, a deep frown clouding her eyes. 

She inhaled deeply, once, twice, closing her eyes for a few seconds. When she opened them again, the sadness was gone, replaced by that neutral, vulcan expression.

When the line of people passed, Michael turned away abruptly, crossing the road. 

Philippa followed, her chest burning once she felt Michael's walls raising in a fast pace. The distance was unbearable, but the terrain had no idea of how to react.

Considering she didn't even understand her own feelings, words seemed useless. 

Something should be said, so she blinked fast, trying to hide her own emotions. In a casual voice, that pretended a calmness she didn't feel, Philippa continued. 

"We enjoy each other's company, we have fun, we have sex and we are very good at it. Why complicate things?"

Michael pace was even faster now and Philippa knew inwardly that her lover was controlling her own emotions. 

The answer came eventually, in a surprisingly steady, cold voice.

"Of course, no need to complicate things."

Michael's face was a mask of professionalism. Even thought Philippa felt the distance growing, along with the pain in her own chest, she didn't know how to react.

As unbelievable as it may seem, she never had any kind of relationship. She had lovers, sex partners, but never allowed anyone to cross the barriers around her heart. 

Her soul always belonged to the Empire. 

But now, when all those foreign feelings assaulted her, she was lost about what to do. She was in love, there was no doubt about that, but was she prone to a relationship? Could she give Michael what she needed, or would their liaison end up on disappointment, like everything else in Philippa's life?

When they reached the old road, Michael was still strolling ahead of her. The forest was dense and they didn't have to walk long, until they were completely alone again. 

Once they were protected from human eyes, Michael opened two tricorders, offering one to Philippa.

The tricorders were connected to the perimeter scanner and hidden inside old fashioned books, covered in lather. The disguise was very efficient, so anyone looking at them would imagine they were taking notes, while traveling.

Michael's practice hands activated the perimeter scanner and it flew away. The device was a small sphere, that wouldn't be visible from the ground. 

As soon as the tricorders were analysing the new data, Michael gesture to the road. "Let's go, we have work to do."

After a few hours of walking and cataloguing species, they were in the densest part of the forest. It was dark, the air around them charged with static electricity.

Taking some dried fruit from her bag, Philippa offered them to the other woman, who took it without looking up.

The heavy silence between them was uncomfortable, but Philippa didn't break the ice. Michael was hurt with good reason, so she gave her the space she needed it. They would have time to talk later and Philippa hoped she could put her feelings into words. 

"A storm is coming from the north. We should find shelter." 

Michael humed, biting a bigger slice of dry apple. "I agree. We also need to rest and to eat."

She pointed to something behind Philippa's back. "The scanner shows a complex of small caves a few yards up, on that hill. You can go and set camp there, I'll take some water from the river and join you in a while."

Philippa nodded and walked to the pointed direction, checking her tricorder to the said caves. She soon found a good one, it was not too large to be used by predators, relatively clean and the opening was in a good angle, so they would be protected from rain and wind.

She dropped her bag, cleaned her surroundings and walked around the woods, looking for drywood to a fire pit.

An alert sound, coming from the tricorder brought Philippa back to the cave. She frowned when she understood the perimeter scanner had accused human presence not far away. 

The tricorder showed four humans, three of them were men, hiding on the woods, just a few feet away from Michael, who, apparently, haven't noticed their presence.

Philippa's blood ran cold, her intuition telling her something was very wrong.

Michael...

In a second she was running down the hill, phaser on hand.

…..

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Day 3

Philippa ran. 

She ran faster than ever, as if chased by her worst nightmares. Going down the hill, she almost fell twice, jumping over rocks and bushes. Philippa couldn't hear or see anything, until she reached the ravine, leading towards the river.

A cold grip clenched her heart when she heard unmistakable sounds of fight. Due to the massive woods, she didn't have a clean shot yet, so she ran even faster, her lungs burning with the effort.

Philippa's rage surfaced once she realized Michael had been ambushed. She was surrounded and, for the way she was defending herself, she was hurt. 

Approaching fast, she now could see the fight. One man was down, his neck twisted in a strange angle, while a second man hit Michael hard on the face, knocking her down. 

Phaser already in hand, her blood froze once she saw a third man kicking Michael's stomach, a shining blade visible on his hand. 

Reacting on instinct, she dismissed any thoughts about the first directive, or starfleet regulations. Her lover was in danger, meaning those men were dead. 

After three precise phaser shots, they vanished in the air and finally, Philippa reached the unconscious woman, almost throwing herself on the dirt floor, besides her. The rain fell hard on them, washing away the blood from Michael's forehead.

Philippa checked if she was breathing. "Michael! Oh, my love! Michael!"

With shaking hands, Philippa opened Michael's leather jacket looking for any signs of blood, but apparently, there was none. 

The cut on her forehead was not too deep, but she could be concussed. Philippa took a deep breath, to calm her nerves and looked around, thinking about what to do.

Fortunately, she spotted Michael's backpack, just a few feet away. At that distant, the proximity alert would not have been heard, with Michael that close to the water flow. That explained why she didn't see the men approaching her. 

Retrieving Michael's tricorder, she regained some control over her nerves. First, she verified if there were any other people, or predators on the perimeter. Once she was convinced they were safe, she ran back to Michael, checking for any intern injuries. 

To her immense relief, Michal was not hurt, but she was still unconscious. Philippa's hands were trembling, as she took Michael's face with infinite care. She caressed her lover's forehead and jaw, softly shaking her.

"Wake up, darling, please, wake up."

After two or three minutes of excruciating wait, Michael finally opened her eyes and coughed, holding her stomach.

Philippa reached for her, desperately trying to help. "Where does it hurt, my love?"

Michael probably saw the anguish on her lover's face, because she took Philippa's hand, trying to soothe her. Her voice was hoarse, but firm.

"Hey, don't worry, I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine! You're bleeding. We should contact Discovery."

Sitting on the muddy floor, Michael shook her head on a negative way. "That won't be necessary, we must complete the mission.”

Now that the fear subsided, Philippa was irritated. If it was for her wishes, they would be contacting the ship now, just to be sure nothing happened, but Michael was stubborn and it was her decision, after all.

Michael noticed her obvious distress. "Hey, Philippa, don't worry, I'm really fine, just passed out for a moment."

Recovering some of her composure, Philippa stood, collecting Michael's gear. 

"Let's get out of the rain, at least. We're both soaked."

….

Michael

They wouldn't go anywhere, until the rain subsided. When they finally got to the cave, after some considerable struggle to move through the slippery path, they were both cold and exhausted.

Michael's was, once again, impressed with her lover's efficiency. The shelter was clean and already warmed by a fire, their equipment and sleep bags meticulously arranged. 

Since they arrive at the cave, Philippa avoided Michael's eyes, working silently to dry their clothes and to keep the fire. 

Using her tricorder, she activated an energy shield in the entrance, while she settled Michael’s device to control the perimeter scanner. 

With security measures concluded, she boiled some water to their food and repositioned their wet clothes besides the fire, all the while ignoring Michael's presence.

Since they left New Eden, Michael knew something was wrong, but she couldn't understand what exactly was bothering her lover. 

On the last two days Philippa had been an affectionate, attentive partner and Michael never felt such strong connection to anyone, friends or lovers. Their bond was intense, consuming, even addictive. 

Everything seemed fine between them until this morning. They made love, they talked about the trip, but just an hour later, Philippa was pensive and distant, as if facing some inward battle.

Until now, Michael had learn a few things about the way Philippa dealt with anything that bothered her, especially emotions. Frequently, when she was threatened, she was aggressive, even destructive. 

But less often, when she was hurt, she became very quiet, as if her sarcasm failed to shield her heart. In fact, Michael already concluded that silence was her way of dealing with the most disturbing thoughts. 

Her cold, harsh words on the road to Rhisa hurt deeply, leading Michael to question her own perception and her ability to judge Philippa's character. For a couple of hours, she considered herself naive for believing a woman like Philippa would love anyone. 

And then, the brutal attack at the river changed her thoughts again. What Michael saw in Philippa's eyes when she came back to conscious was such pained despair, that she forgot her injuries for a moment. 

Philippa had been scared to death, and strangely, this was comforting, because it meant that, maybe, Michael didn’t misjudged her feelings in the first place.

If it was not for Philippa, she would be probably dead now. When Michael stood from the wet floor, she didn't see any of the men who ambushed her, so she presumed they were dead, phaser vaporized.

The walk back to the cave was a silent one, but Philippa's arms were around her all the time. Now, they were both on their underwear, sat on sleep bags, hair still dripping. 

Outside, the day became night due to the storm, but their cave was dry. Philippa had choose well, they were in a small space, big enough to comfortably accommodate both of them and their gear, but not too large so to disperse heat. The entrance had a interesting natural curve that kept them hidden, which, combined with the energy field, made their shelter relatively secure.

They were eating some dehydrated meal, the sounds of fire cracking and rain comforting Michael's heart.

Philippa was still quiet, stabbing her food with excessive force. To Michael, the silent treatment had gone too far.

"You're angry with me."

Philippa's answer was an annoyed sound and a eye roll, but Michael insisted.

"Talk to me, please."

In a quick, blunt move, she threw her bow away. 

"Do you want to talk? Fine!"

There, finally a passionate reaction. That was a woman Michael recognized.

"What the hell just happened down there at the river? Why did you leave your tricorder where you couldn't hear it? Are you out of your mind?"

Ignoring her own anxiety, Michael took a deep breath, because she knew an easy, calm approach would pacify Philippa.

"I just needed some time to think, I got distracted."

The older woman was furious now, opening her arms in exasperation. "Distracted? Michael, we are in wild territory, how could you be distracted? You could have been attacked by that animal, damn it!"

Michael also put her bow aside, taking one of Philippa's hands. Years of vulcan academy allowed her to control her own voice. "I know that and I'm sorry if I scared you, I was upset with what I considered a rejection from you... and I was so self absorbed, I was careless, I know.”

Philippa looked from their joined hands to Michael's face, but didn't interrupted her. 

"Philippa, I was not dealing well with the perspective of not been loved by you. So, I was there, looking at the water, feeling sorry for myself and I didn't see they coming. It was a stupid mistake, so, thank you for being there for me. We both know you saved my life.”

An anguished frown contorted Philippa's features, she shook her head. "I don't know how to do it!"

Michael was surprised to see unshed tears on the other woman's eyes.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm saying I don't know what to do with myself, with my feelings for you."

Lost about what to say, Michael just stared, trying to figure out the meaning behind her words. 

Philippa nodded and looked down, as a single tear fell on their entwined hands. "You don't get it, do you? When I saw that man kicking you, I never felt so scared in my life, I thought my heart would stop beating." 

"Oh, honey, come here."

Surprisingly, Philippa accepted the comfort of Michael's embrace, jumping from her sleeping bag to opened arms in a second. Her shoulders were shaking, but she didn't cry. 

"I'm fine, baby. Everything is going to be alright."

Michael just held her tightly, as Philippa murmured, in a distant voice. "What if I disappoint you, Michael, as I disappointed everyone in my life?"

"Who did you disappoint, baby?"

She was quiet again, holding Michael in a tight grip, if her life depended on it. 

Michael's frustration was evident in her tone. "You know, sometimes getting information from you is harder than invading a kardashian military base."

Another minute of silence, until Philippa took some distance, turning her face to look into Michael's eyes.

"I'm a disappointment, Michael. I was a disappointment for my mother, for my daughter and for every single lover I ever had."

Her sad smile broke Michael's heart. "But it was different with them, because they never had the power to hurt me. Except for my daughter, of course, but all the others, they meant nothing to me...”

Philippa seemed lost in her thoughts, so Michael waited. “But you, Michael Burnham, you could hurt me as no one else before.”

Michael took a shaking breath. “Why do you think I would hurt you?”

She looked at Michael as if the young woman said something absurd. “Michael, you're young, our age difference isn't something you can ignore."

Now it was Michael's turn to be aggravated. “Philippa, I can’t believe you’re worried about that, I don't give a damn about our ages.”

Philippa sat back on her sleep bag, her face defeated. "I'm not a good person, darling, my heart's is full of dark corners, one day you will wake up and see I'm not at all like you, I'm terrain, I'm selfish, revengeful… that's who I am, Michael."

"Said the woman who left everything behind to be here with me. Who almost died to protect us from Leland. Who saved my life just an hour ago."

The muscles on Philippa's jaws were tense, as she clenched her teeth. "The things I did were always to protect you and only you, Michael, don't you see? I'm not abnegated, I only did it because I can't stand to be in a universe where you're not alive."

With a sign, she took Philippa's head on her hands, forcing their eyes to met. 

"I don't agree with you, to me you're a good person, you're beautiful, honourable, strong and fearless, you're protective of the ones you love."

The distance between them was still palpable.

"Philippa, do you love me?"

"More than life itself..."

Relieved with the answer, Michael let her hands roam over Philippa's shoulders, arms and hands, until she entwined their fingers.

"So, let me see if I get this straight. You love me, and you believe I will reject and hurt you, so, you rejected me first, to protect yourself."

With a sign, Philippa closed her eyes.

"Well, put that way, it's not very logic, but..."

"Philippa, look at me…"

Once she had the other woman's full attention again, Michael insisted. 

"Why haven't you talked to me about those things?"

At least, Philippa's features softened.

"Because my feelings make me feel vulnerable and frightened. I don't know how to deal with them."

Michael's heart beat in sympathy, because fear was also the most dominant emotion on her own mind, when it comes to Philippa. 

Somehow, reassure the older woman was a easy way to reassure herself. "Maybe you're afraid, because you're underestimating my feelings for you, but you shouldn't, because I love you and I'll prove it to you everyday of my life, if you give me a chance."

Philippa opened her mouth to say something, but Michael nodded, grabbing her hands again. 

"No, let me finish it…. I'm also terrified, because you see, I'm always losing the ones I love most. It always like that. So, don't push me away, baby. Don't do that to us."

Something in Michael's words touched her, because Philippa's eyes softened. Michael almost fell on her back, when her lover jumped into her arms, in a desperate grip.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much it scares me."

Michael's arms circled Philippa's waist. "We will figure this out, my love, but don't freak out."

A soft giggle echoed in the cave, lightning Michael's heart. She looked up, curious. "What?"

Philippa raised an eyebrow. "I don't freak out, Michael, I am Philippa Georgeou Augustus Laponius…" 

Her words were interrupted by a kiss.

…

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Day 3

Michael

Michael woke up startled, not knowing exactly what had disturbed her. 

The cave was barely illuminated by the ember light, what made it difficult to recognize her surroundings. 

Curious, she turned on her sleeping bag, looking out for Philippa, who had been, just and hour ago, entwined with her, in sleep.

Michael was surprise to find the other woman on her knees at the cave entrance, her body barely visible in the shadows. She made a silent gesture for Michael to hold her position, eyes fixed on something outside the cave and phaser in hand.

Silently, Michael approached and what she saw froze her blood. A huge, black creature, with sharp teeth was sniffing the air, just a few feet away from their shelter. The animal was so big, Michael could only see glimpses of its body, paws, legs, chest and torso. 

That would be one of the infamous Gwnars that used to terrorize the villagers. 

The creature wouldn't be able to access the cave, due to the energy shield, but Michael could perfectly understand why Philippa had her phaser in hand. The animal was intimidating, a huge predator, that would easily kill a dozen men.

Philippa's knuckles were white, holding the weapon with excessive force. Body positioned right behind her, Michael could feel her strained muscles. 

After a quick glance at the tricorder, she rested a soothing hand on Philippa's back. 

"It's gone, baby, you can let go."

A few seconds passed, until Philippa finally drop the weapon, also checking the tricorder for the Gwnar's position. She visible relaxed, once the animal had left the perimeter, finally turning to Michael.

When their eyes met, Philippa offered her a half smile, despite the tension in the air. 

"We need bigger weapons, Commander."

"I have to agree with that." 

Adjusting the tricorder again to alert mode, she turned to Michael. "I woke up with the alarm, but turned it off to avoid attracting that thing to us."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you needed to rest." Philippa's couldn't hide the concern on voice. "How are you feeling, darling? Any diseness or pain?"

"I'm good as new, you don't need to worry." Not resisting the urge to touch, Michael caressed Philippa's face. "What about you? Have you sleep?"

"A couple of hours, until the scanner alarm warned about the beast. That was maybe an hour ago. The gwnar wandered around for half an hour, looking for any sigs of our tracks, I suppose."

She drank some water and offered the bottle to Michael. "At least, the rain stopped, so if we leave first thing in the morning, we can reach Rhisa at noon. We will be safer inside the city walls."

Their legs touched on the restrict space, mostly occupied by the sleeping bags. Philippa's body was comfortably warm and Michael wanted to touch her, but Philippa's back was rigid, her body language unconscious repelling their proximity. 

As their relationship became stronger, Michael's frustration grew, every time she felt Philippa's hesitation. Truth to be told, she was still getting used to her contradictions. On the one hand, her lover could be hot as wildfire, showing deep passions, on the other hand, sometimes she would act cold and remote, as if their relationship meant nothing to her. In spite of that, Michael believed in their connection. 

Probably, her protection instinct was speaking louder than love right now, her  
face translating her anxiety. In a poor attempt to dismiss Philippa's worries, Michael chose the wrong words. 

"Sweetheart, you don't need to be so protective of me. I can take care of myself. Would you try to relax, and enjoy the moment, while we can? We could worry about that tomorrow..."

Faster than she could react, Michael was pinned up on the cave wall, Philippa's face inches of her, her face contorted in anguish.

"You're unbelievable!"

Michael was dumbfounded for a moment, until her mind registered Philippa arms holding her by the waist and chest, with excessive pressure.

"Philippa… what the hell?"

"Do I need to remind you how many times you put yourself in mortal danger, over the last months? Do I need to tell you how terrified I am everytime you flirt with death?"

Since the first time she laid eyes on Philippa, the woman always reminded Michael of a big feline, a powerful controlled force, ready to jump at any threat. 

At the moment, she held Michael on a fight position, her eyes shining in something that could be easily mistaken for anger.

Michael's first impulse would be to push her back, and if it was not for the obvious pain on the other woman's face, she would be deeply annoyed to be manhandled like that. 

But, against her own instinct, her voice was surprisingly calm, when she held Philippa's shoulders.

"Hey, take it easy, sweetheart, you’re hurting me.” 

A second later, Philippa's eyes softened and she eased her grip, looking at Michael's body in concern. She sat back on her heels, a trembling hand covered her eyes, as realization hit her hard.

“Damn you, Michael! I'm going crazy with worry, I'm sorry."

Michael's heart warmed again beyond such a raw admission of fragility. Caressing Philippa's arms and shoulders, she tried, again, to easy the tension.

“You shouldn't worry so much…"

A huff and eyeroll dismissed Michael's attempt to easy her feelings . "Shouldn't I? You've been attacked today, and in case you didn't noticed that's a fucking huge animal wandering around, who would have it's dinner if it was not for this shelter." 

Philippa closed her eyes and signed, frustrated at her outburst. "I don't want to fight you, I just… I need you to be safe."

Michael recognized the signs of exhaustion on Philippa's face, the dark circles around her eyes were deeper and the tiny wrinkles around her mouth, usually imperceptible, were now a good reminder of their age difference. 

Despite her strength and joviality, Philippa was not young anymore, and just as Michael, she had been through a lot.

Slowly, Michael approached their bodies again, pulling her lover to one of the sleeping bags. The cave was still comfortably warm and they had at least five hours, before the sun rose. 

"Hey, come here, you need to rest."

Michael knew they needed to talk, but any words would be left unsaid until morning. To Michael's relief, Philippa accepted her comforting embrace, nodding weakly, while making herself comfortable in the curve of Michael's body.

"You're right, I'm not thinking straight and I need some sleep. Wake me up if that thing comes back..."

The last words were barely audible and in a couple of minutes, Philippa's breath was deep, her body limp in Michael's arms.

Long after she slept, Michael laid there with eyes open, listening to the sounds of the night.

...

Day 4

Philippa

The last part of the journey had been surprisingly uneventful. For almost five hours they walked in the dense forest, all the while attentive to their tricorders. 

When the scanner showed the walls of Rhisa three miles ahead, they finally returned to the main road, to Philippa's immense relief.

They would be among people now, for two or three days at least, and than, continue their journey to the wild territory. Philippa sincerely hoped to control her anxiety until they head back to open field.

During the entire morning Michael avoided Philippa's eyes, walking a few steps ahead, while collecting samples and information. The heavy silence between them was a sharp reminder of Philippa's poor reactions on the last twenty four hours.

At the moment, Philippa's rational thoughts and emotions were in battle. Her brain was telling this was a simple mission for two skilled officers, while her heart was shouting that her lover was in danger, requiring her constant vigilance. The struggle to subside her heart was exhaustive.

Philippa's concerns, more than anything else, were now a obstacle for their romantic relationship. How could she work with the young woman, if she couldn't control her own emotions? Wouldn't be wise to end whatever they started and resume their relationship to professional interaction? 

She could still step back at any time, pretending nothing of it ever happened and leave Michael alone, couldn't she?

And now Philippa was lying to herself, in the same way she lied when she told Michael her reason to travel beyond time and space was the need to pursue revenge against Lelland. 

That was another pathetic excuse, of a long list of empty explanations she always offered to the ones who dared to fall in love with her.

The last thing Michael deserved was excuses, so Philippa should take a decision and be brave enough to face the consequences.

Thought she could spend an entire week thinking about her options, the necessity to be honest about her own feelings was a priority. And, if she was completely truthful with herself, she would conclude that regarding Michael, her heart would always speak louder, even when she fought against it.

So, all things considered, what was the best way to stop worrying like a madwoman? First, she should stop looking at their differences as an obstacle, respecting the younger woman for her so many wonderful qualities.

First of all, Michael was a well qualified officer, with the sharpest mind Philippa ever seen. She was not just trained in vulcan martial arts, but also well versed in multiple cultures, showing such wisdom, Philippa often forgot about their age difference. She would never admit it out loud, but the vulcan Sarek made a good job raising his daughter.

The only exasperating thing about the girl was her excessive confidence, but even on that matter, Philippa knew Michael's self assurance was justified. She was beautiful, capable, intelligent, and oh, so sexy.

And her patience with Philippa's outbursts - something that always drove her partners away - seemed to be almost infinite, almost…

Because, of course, Michael's strong feelings for her were now causing her pain, every time Philippa's mood drastically changed. 

Apparently, Philippa was not able to do for Michael what the girl always did for her. 

Because, since they met, Michael have always been there for her, protecting her back every single time, constantly saving her from others or from herself. 

For her, Michael was a peaceful shelter, after so many battles. Her beautiful face had a calm effect on Philippa's worst fears, her soft voice a soothing balm for her heart. She wished to do the same for her lover, and so much more...

Philippa was so lost in her own thoughts, she bumped into Michael's shoulder, when the younger woman suddenly stopped. 

They were a hundred yards away from the city gates, people coming and going around then.

Michael looked down to the ground, her soft voice was sad.

"Philippa…"

The older woman waited, until Michael looked directly into her eyes.

"It's in your hands now."

At first, she didn't understand the words and she tilted her head in a silent question. 

Taking a deep breath, Michael continued.

"This… us… I'll leave it for you to decide. I love you, more than I ever loved anyone, but Philippa… the last thing I want is to make you unhappy…."

"Michael, I…"

"No, let me finish… on the last three days I've been so happy, in so many ways, but as I became happier, Philippa, you seemed to go sadder… and you know what?"

The young woman looked around, avoiding Philippa's face. "It doesn't have to be this way, we can go back the way things were, no hard feelings… I will be happy with your friendship and we work well together, so…"

An unexpected dizziness assaulted Philippa's senses, as her heart beat faster in her chest. "But darling, that's not what I want…"

Michael's face was serious. "And can you tell me what do you want?"

Phillipa's brain chose a terrible moment to stop working. At the absence of the right words, she was silent. 

The disappointment was obvious on Michae'l features. "Well… your silence is a good answer…"

Closing her eyes, to control her own frustration, Philippa nodded. "All of it is new to me, Michael, I don't want you to think I don't love you, because I do, but still…"

Michael looked around again, obviously uncomfortable with Philippa's lack of words. "Look, you don't need to explain yourself to me, I won't push… I know you do love me, but whatever you need to face, your inner battles or any doubts about this… you need space to do it, so, I'll give it to you."

Before she could control her own actions, Philippa moved forward, hugging Michael in a tight embrace. The young woman trembled in her arms, but delicately pushed her away.

"I'm a patient woman and I can wait, until you decide what to do, but Philippa… please, don't tell me again how much you love me, if you're not sure about this, because it hurts."

"I'm sorry, my love, I just…"

"Please, Philippa, just don't, ok? We're grown women, we can keep the rest of this mission professional, don't you think?"

Philippa's face hardened in frustration. "If that is your wish..."

Michael's smile was ironic and sad at same time.

"What I wish does not matter now, but right there are the gates of Rhisa and we have a lot of work to do, so shall we?"

….

TBC


End file.
